New Blog Address

I am starting to post my parenting and multicultural family posts at a new site:

visit multiculturalfamily.co.

I will use this blog for (not-so) random blogs as well.

 

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How should we respond?

A well-respected teacher, leader, pastor has been living with a hidden sin of adultery that came to light this week when he announced his resignation. I knew him, not up close and personal, but as a teacher, a preacher; someone who shared hard lessons and challenged us to walk the Christian walk. He was a man I admired him very much, and God has used him mightily to build His Kingdom. So this announcement has astounded the entire local community.

How should we respond?

With the attitude that there but for the grace of God go I, my friend. With more than double the years of marriage that this man has, I am not foolish enough to think this could not happen to me or my marriage.

With broken hearts. Pray for his redemption, his family, for healing and God’s comfort and strength through these difficult days ahead.

Without judgment. God will judge. Romans 14:4 “Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.”

Without gossip. Gossip is talking about people when you are neither part of the problem or the solution. In as much as this affects an extremely large community of believers, there will be talk. But, we should not speculate and must avoid gossip.

With prayers for him, his family and the church he left behind. When one man sins, it is not just he is hurt… it hurts the entire body of Christ.

With resolve to strengthen my own marriage and other close relationships. Making sure I have mentors and accountability partners who are not afraid to ask tough questions and also be unconditional in their love towards us as Christ demonstrated to the world.

With realization that we are in a spiritual battle. It is not flesh and blood, but the rulers, principalities and the evil of the prince of this world. Know that Satan desires us to fall, to fail, to become ineffective. Satanic worshippers are praying fervently for the demise of Christian marriages, especially those who lead or serve in full-time Christian ministry. Do we pray as regularly for our Christian marriages to thrive and succeed?

Our battle is not our own to fight alone. We have a God who has overcome the world. This knowledge should give us hope in times of despair and sorrow.

What about you — do you think this could ever happen to you?

1 Corinthians 10:12 “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.”

Do you have an accountability partner or mentor — can they ask you some tough questions and be brutally honest? Will they notice if you are deceptive and hiding something from them?

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.” Proverbs 27:6

Let’s be obedient by assembling together in community with other Christians. Hebrews 10:25 “not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.”

What can you do starting today so you do not negatively influence the community around you?

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Asian Americans’ Votes Could Decide the Election

Asian Americans represent 4-6% of our nation. In many states, the election shows a dead heat or are within the statistical margin for error.

In Asian Fortune magazine, the October issue focused on the upcoming election. Asian Americans are 51% independent, not having an alliance to either of the two major political parties. or even identifying with the U. S. party system.  Sadly, we have one of the lowest turnouts of all voter demographics.

Why?

We need to listen to this wonderful message by David Jeremiah, and vote our values — our beliefs, our convictions.

If you haven’t already done so in early voting or absentee ballot, and you are an eligible-to-vote American, please accept that privilege and responsibility.
Take some time to study the various candidates, not just for President and Vice President, but for your justices, local school board, soil commissioner, tax collectors, etc. Read the various amendments and take a stand.

Asian Americans, like many Americans, are concerned about the economy, education, healthcare. The future of our nation will be decided on November 6. So please go out and vote. Lines may be long, it may be inconvenient, but life is not always about conveniences.

Are you concerned about the economy? About what happened in Libya? Our support of Israel? Education? Abortion? Take time to study about what each candidate says and his track record. Pray for wisdom and for God’s mercy on our nation in the years to come.

2 Chronicles 7:14

New International Version (NIV)

” if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”

You may only be one person, but if each person who thinks that way will go out and vote, then your vote may decide the election!

What about you? Will you vote your values despite the inconveniences?

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Learning to Let Go

ImageWhy is it so hard for Asian parents to let go? Not just Asian parents. I have seen parents make it hard for their adult children to be adults. I have felt that same kind of pressure from my own parents, even after marrying and having children of my own.

If we prepare our children well for life, why do we still feel the need to shelter them? Is it possible that we don’t believe in ourselves as parents? Our children tell us to trust their parenting. There comes a time when the lessons we’ve taught need to be applied without our constant oversight. For American children, that usually comes around 18 when they leave for college. For Asian families, we may never give them that right even though they have done nothing to make us suspect they are anything but responsible people. Their grades are excellent, and they have never gotten in trouble. If we’ve been in the principal’s office, it is for commendations not reprimands or warnings of suspension.

If this is so true, why do we fail to release our children? It could be because our parents failed to release us, and even though we hated that and swore we’d never do this to our own children, it is all we know how to do. It could be because we question how good we are as a parent… do we really believe we’ve taught our children well? Lastly, it could be because we fail to trust God. God, our Sovereign Father, in control of all things. This is an evil world and bad things happen. We must protect our children because surely Almighty God is too busy, too preoccupied to totally watch over our children? Or we believe He is Sovereign, but we question His love for us… there is a lot of evil in the world. And, yes, we’ve all seen bad things happen to good people, even godly people. This being true, how can we trust God to care for our children the way we do?

Letting go is an act of faith – in God, in ourselves as parents, and in our children.

That being said, I need to let my adult children go in all the ways that I haven’t. SIGH!

 

What about you? Where does your faith fall short?

Should you take a step of faith and let your children go? 

 

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Parents Teaching Children to Speak Out

The recent controversy about the Founder of Chick-fil-AChick-fil-A sharing his Christian beliefs and viewpoints supporting traditional marriage has been viewed as discriminatory. Michelle Malkin had few recent commentaries on her blog about this very topic. I have to admire Michelle Malkin and her Filipino parents for teaching her to take a stand and speak out.

We must learn to do this as age-appropriate. The recent Sandusky trial has shown several times when children spoke out, but were ignored by the authorities or those who were in place to protect them. For the goal of winning football, children who should have been protected and listened to, were somehow ignored enough that it was not resolved until many years later. (if the judgment and removal of Paterno’s statue and undoing number of game wins indicate resolution… but that’s another blog).

Michelle Malkin recently gave an insightful commentary on Boston’s discrimination against Chick-fil-A. First, she criticized Boston’s mayor who spoke against allowing Chick-fil-A a permit in his jurisdiction (also later added Chicago’s alderman and mayor). Whether you agree or not, I think her outspokenness on many issues is a result of great parenting. She has been taught to research, take a stand, and defend her stance on numerous occasions.

I, for one, went to Chick-Fil-A on Appreciation Day, and not just for the awesome food.

Southwest Chicken Salad

What about you? Do you encourage your children to take a stand and speak up for what they believe in?

For what or for whom would you be willing to die? To live?

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Love and Courage

Centre County Courthouse

By now, everyone has heard about the verdict in Jerry Sandusky’s trial.  He was convicted on 45 of the 48 counts and is on suicide watch.  However, some of us wonder how could this have happened to so many boys? Why did it take this long to find out and send him to trial? So many questions…

A mother’s and father’s worst nightmare, to realize that this happened to their precious child, and they were unable to protect them or help them from life’s evils. A recent blogpost shares about the difference between moral obligations and legal obligations… and then about love.

It was a mother’s love who discovered her son’s wet hair. Noticing the wet hair was one of the keys to finding out the truth, namely that Sandusky was taking a shower with her son. This discovery helped this mother to stand up for her son.

So, I wonder if something out of the ordinary happened to our children, would we notice the “wet hair”? Or any change in behavior? Or ?
Or are our lives too busy and structured, to even notice?

We love our children, we want the best for them. This horrific sex incident happens more than at Penn State or elsewhere in Pennsylvania (e.g. Former Assistant Principal at Lancaster Mennonite High School).  Approximately 1.9 per 1000 children are sexually abused, and 93% by people who they know. Most offenders try to build a friendship with the child first. It is sad, but we should be aware of the facts.

These are not the only evils from which we protect our children. We need to take a stand to protect others as well. The victims who testified in this trial were incredibly courage.

As we protect our children the best we can, bad things may happen, and injustices may occur. The Sandusky trial brought justice back to prevent his happening again… it’s  not over. The offenses continue as the evidence seems to show some cover-ups by emails between Penn State officials. Sad that some lacked the courage to stand for justice.

“All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing.”  Edmund Burke

How do you love your child by noticing? Are we courageous enough to make a difference in the world today and stand against evil?

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How to Overcome Injustice and Protect Your Children

I’ve been surfing the Internet and came upon this article about Jeremy Lin forgiving a correspondent who used a catchy but racially insensitive title “Chink in the Armor” to report on a game lost by the Knick player.

Jeremy Lin (source:Wikimedia Commons)

Apparently, Lin invited the fired correspondent to lunch to display no hard feelings over the incident.

Jesus asked us to turn the other cheek.

The hardest thing as a parent is to not protect our children over life’s hurts and bad circumstances. At some point though, it is better to equip our child to be forgiving and turn the other cheek. As an Asian growing up in school system with Asian immigration the exception rather than the rule,I’ve also been called a “Chink” more than once.

I have also done more than my share of “overprotectiveness.” But allowing consequences and teaching children how to forgive is very admirable. Kudos to Jeremy’s parents teaching this Christ-like quality.

How have you taught your child to forgive unjust offenses or prejudices and deal with tough circumstances?

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