Why is it so hard for Asian parents to let go? Not just Asian parents. I have seen parents make it hard for their adult children to be adults. I have felt that same kind of pressure from my own parents, even after marrying and having children of my own.
If we prepare our children well for life, why do we still feel the need to shelter them? Is it possible that we don’t believe in ourselves as parents? Our children tell us to trust their parenting. There comes a time when the lessons we’ve taught need to be applied without our constant oversight. For American children, that usually comes around 18 when they leave for college. For Asian families, we may never give them that right even though they have done nothing to make us suspect they are anything but responsible people. Their grades are excellent, and they have never gotten in trouble. If we’ve been in the principal’s office, it is for commendations not reprimands or warnings of suspension.
If this is so true, why do we fail to release our children? It could be because our parents failed to release us, and even though we hated that and swore we’d never do this to our own children, it is all we know how to do. It could be because we question how good we are as a parent… do we really believe we’ve taught our children well? Lastly, it could be because we fail to trust God. God, our Sovereign Father, in control of all things. This is an evil world and bad things happen. We must protect our children because surely Almighty God is too busy, too preoccupied to totally watch over our children? Or we believe He is Sovereign, but we question His love for us… there is a lot of evil in the world. And, yes, we’ve all seen bad things happen to good people, even godly people. This being true, how can we trust God to care for our children the way we do?
Letting go is an act of faith – in God, in ourselves as parents, and in our children.
That being said, I need to let my adult children go in all the ways that I haven’t. SIGH!
What about you? Where does your faith fall short?
Should you take a step of faith and let your children go?